Rocket Science

7:00 a.m.: Wake up. Press snooze. Go back to sleep.

7:30 a.m.: Wake up. Press snooze. Go back to sleep.

7:45 a.m.: Wake up. Press snooze. Swing legs to the floor and stand up. Shuffle to bathroom. Brush teeth.

8:00 a.m.: Slide into date dress. Apply under-arm deodorant. Finger through hair and mash into a style. Slap on some face. Turn off alarm.

8:15 a.m.: Chase sleepy dog through house. Catch sleepy dog. Harness and leash said dog and promise treats if she will go outside.

8:20 a.m.: Walk down hill and hope that mascara makes eyes look fully open instead of half shut. Pick up dog poop. Applaud dog peeing on grass instead of Bathroom carpet.

8:23 a.m.: Shoot pictures of walk down the hill as evidence of early morning date. Hope date doesn’t notice dirty fingernails.

8:25 a.m.: Arrive at Intelligensia Coffee on Sanborn and Sunset. Sit at outside table and wait for 8:30 a.m. date.

8:30 a.m.: Wait for 8:30 a.m. date.

8:35 a.m.: Watch long-haired, receding hairlined man in jeans and white sneakers trip over curb and smile at you. Compute that this is, in fact, the date and that he looks nothing like his picture. Smile. Shake his hand. Say hello.

8:40 a.m.: Stand in line for fancy over-priced coffee. Order cappuccino.

8:42 a.m.: Stand in line to wait for cappuccino as date waits for his cafe mocha. Ask what he does for a living. Nod smartly when he replies that he is a rocket scientist.

8:43 a.m.: Add sugar to coffee

8:44 a.m.: Sit outside with coffee, dog, and date.

8:45 a.m.: Discuss the inherent difficulties of colonizing Mars. Drink coffee.

8:55 a.m.: Touch on the evils of soy-based vegetarian products. Finish coffee.

9:04 a.m.: Share dog stories.


9:10 a.m.: Explain to Rocket Scientist that you are a hairdresser. Wish for a second cup of coffee.

9:15 a.m.: Finish date. Walk date to his car. Say goodbye.

9:17 a.m.: Walk up hill with dog.

9:23 a.m. Enter house. Unleash dog. Go back to sleep.

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